Let’s have a little test to see just how ghetto I am (and you are):
Raise your hand if you have rusty old patio furniture in your back yard???
Now. Raise your hand if you have been thinking for months (possibly YEARS), “Dude. That rusty old patio furniture is GHETTO! I need to drag it off to the dump!” ??? (or, in our case, haul it to the street for bulk trash pick up)
Yeah. We are THOSE people.
Behold.
I give you … our rusty old porch swing:
This little gem is 10 years old, people … give or take. We bought it shortly after getting married. And, it’s been a rusty mess since about 2 years after we bought it.
How rusty, you ask? Well. If rusty could rank in belts, like karate, this swing would be sporting a black belt. No lie. It was so rusty that the rust ate the old rust for breakfast … and then the pole thingys holding up the swing broke … and the swing was just dangling there. True story.
This thing was HOPELESS. And every month … about 30 minutes after bulk trash came to pick up, Superman and I would look at each other and say “Crap! We forgot to haul out that piece of junk swing, AGAIN!” We played that game for about … 4 years. At least. (We are THAT ghetto)
See all that rust around the bolts in the picture above? Yeah. You do not want to sit on that swing.
So.
One day … I was outside, admiring my glorious view of this rusty old piece of junk and I thought, “Hot dang! I’m gonna make Superman fix that swing, spray paint it, and save myself a quick $150 on buying a new one!”
Poor. Superman.
But, as always … he obeyed.
*** Y’all. Please do not let Superman know that there are prettier, skinnier, taller, and less demanding wives out there. I don’t think he knows that. Shhh.
So. Off he went. To Home Depot. To buy some steel rods … to replace the rust rods. He bought some steel pipe and some nuts and bolts and screws. I have no idea which ones. But, I don’t think it matters because the chance of you having the EXACT same porch swing as us is slim. If you decide to do this to your patio furniture, just measure your nuts, bolts, screws and go buy new ones in the same sizes. Easy peasy.
So, he brought the steel pipe home, cut it to the exact right size, then hammered the ends so that they were flat, the way he needed them … and then he reconstructed the swing.
See? That steel pipe in the picture above is just plain old galvanized steel pipe that he cut and hammered on the ends to make things fit right. The nuts and bolts are new as well. (Ignore the blurry spot in the middle of the picture on these next few pictures … one of my babies apparently got a hold of my camera, and I didn’t realize the fingerprint until today, when I uploaded the pictures. Fail.)
After he got everything reconstructed, he took his sander and sanded off as much of the rust as he could. Obviously, it would be impossible to get all of it, but the dude tried hard. Because he is Superman.
Then, he put it up on some fence posts, took the seat apart (it all unscrews fairly easily) …
And, then … he sprayed the whole thing with a good coat of Rust-Oleum Primer Spray Paint
… that stops the rust. And THEN, he spray painted the whole thing with Rust-Oleum Textured Spray Paint
in Desert Beige. And when he was done … and it was all put back together … and my patio was swept off and the 1,546,893 chalk drawings were washed away … the porch swing actually sang to me.
Dude. Seriously. I can’t even believe what you can accomplish with spray paint. For real. If I ever meet the makers of Rustoleum, I just might kiss them.
I am soooo looking forward to reading the news on my phone while sitting on that swing listening to my kids bicker and argue on the swing set. ;)
And, I know that we are missing a few bolt covers here and there. And it might not be 100% perfect … but, dude. I don’t even care. For about $30 in materials, Superman literally transformed a wasteland into a beautiful oasis.
I love the color and texture. It doesn’t appear to be any different from the original color (which was the point), but the texture is awesome. And, BONUS, Rustoleum guarantee’s their products to be RUST FREE for 2 years! BAM!!
I can’t decide what I love more: the ‘new’ swing … or my clean back porch. Sidewalk chalk can junk up everything in no time flat.
And he finished it just in time to celebrate this chilly weather with a s’mores roasting party with our kiddos this weekend.
I can’t wait!
As always, here’s one last side by side comparison:
Man. I love Superman. The guy just plain rocks my socks off with EVERY renovation he does. This project makes me want to go hunting/dumpster diving for old patio furniture … that we can hit with a little Rustoleum and turn into a treasure. I’m doing it!!! (Meanwhile, Superman shakes his head … poor guy!!)
